East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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