69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
