I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
