so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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