it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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