he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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