i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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