Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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