do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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