There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize