I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
