She went from zero to smokin in five shots
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
