So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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