This girl is more easily done than said...
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize