real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
it was like his penis was on wheels.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
