Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Even my vagina gasped.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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