I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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