Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
