it hurts more in the daytime
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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