Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
