From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
