he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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