I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
