We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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