I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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