google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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