sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
