he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I just googled if crying burns calories
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
This is my gift to your gina
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
