bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
