the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
