If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
sex in a hospital.. check
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
