Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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