white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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