He kissed a someone with a penis
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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