Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
