Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
