i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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