She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
