Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
