id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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