I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize