i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
