i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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