The maid of honor just puked.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
