It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
