Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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