I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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