I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
