my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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