now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
