Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
