I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
