it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
My dick has a subreddit
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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