i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
