9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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