Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
