Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
