I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
She's the barista slut.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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