so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
