I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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