Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
